Thinking

Sooooo...i must admit i did something weiiiird tonight. I was feeling...._________ ever since you left or more i left...WELL SINCE I HAD TO GO.

I'm trying to sort out all these feelings, ideas and poop, which contaminate my mind.

ANYWAYS onto what i did....

I google searched what to do, couldn't find anything and eventually looked at what you might be typing.

Girlfriend is losing interest in me.
She is spending less time with me...etc...

And obviously when it came from the Boys point of view it was all these girls saying they deserved better. But maybe its cause they don't understand how she feels.

Let me tell you how I feel:

- Like I need to give you all the energy and time I have (though i do like to)
- Like you expect too much
- I wish you would try to make an effort to communicate with other people because even though you'll always have me sometimes we need short times apart...THIS leads into my next point
- We spend too much time together, maybe this is why we have not as many things to talk about, since i know all about your past now and also everything in your present.

I think that's it, i cant think of much else. But this doesn't mean i want to push you away, its far from it. AND IN ENGLISH. it seems every english class ends up in pain...for BOTH OF US. MAKE CONVERSATION WITH ME. I BEG OF YOU, i can't always initiate it.

AND NOW discussing your point about me not being interested in you...

I am. It's as simple as that. TO the point about me not showing it, you are wrong too. IN ENGLISH...first of all, i do try and talk, then you look away or don't continue conversation and every other time youre already just upset. I wish you would talk to me before this all snowballs, cause i can't handle it.

This is my first relationship and I don't know the to do's and don'ts. I rely on stupid biased internet stuff... I need you to be more forward and step up and become stronger, cause i know you can.

ANYWAYS, i looove you, talk to you soon,

Yours always,
Tilbooo

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU.

Please know it and never forget it.

Do you get notifications when i post anything? Thats not really the first thing on my mind right now but its the only thing i can say without starting to get upset.

You're not in love with me anymore. This statement is either false or true and you have a week to prove its false if not i shall have to assume its true.

But then what does the phrase 'In love with me' even supposed to mean. You still talk to me. You still want me to stay with you. I dont really know what you want from me.

I want everything from you. Your companionship, your jokes, your smiles, your thoughts, your care. I think i want too much. Most of all i want you to love me. You loving me is the best feeling in the world. To think that you really think i'm something. Cause i do too, i think you're something special i never want to give up.

I cant imagine you being mad at me, yet you are. There used to be a time where you loved that i was stubborn, and you loved my forcefulness. Okay, i admit, im a bit too much. But i do listen. I just chose to not go with what you wanted and what i thought was the best choice. "Sleep."

Cause i do want you to get out of your jet lag, its unhealthy what you're doing(in my opinion). Okay...maybe i am babying you slightly.

And it feels as if now all i am doing is trying to justify myself. I mean, you know it was all with good intention right? I wasn't set out to hurt your feelings.

I would never imagine actually skype-ing you this. Its hard on skype. I feel as if whatever i write is wrong and you'll get angry. Ever thing i

I just thought about taking a day break of skype chatting from you. I then realized how i'd just be waiting online the entire day waiting for you to skype me. Then the horrible realisation that you probably wouldn't. You'd be hurt for me even suggesting it in the first place. You'd then either think not to reply cause its 'What she wants.' or cause you know it'll hurt me. I mean, i think you know by now what upsets me.

I guess i havent figured out EVERYTHING that upsets you yet. I mean, you dont get as upset as me and definitely not as often.(But that balance is shifting slightly)

Okay so i DEFINITELY got the ignoring you and the

Dear Bunny,

Was watching a videoooo of you which i took. Its funny, near the end....some stuff happens, only the noise was caught though...

I LOOOVE YOU. I love winning monopoly too... MWUAHHAHAHA

I love you more though...

Talk to you late fluff ball.

LOVE TILLY

Dear Bunnziiie,

I love you. Breakfast was fun today. I ENJOYED LOTS. As well as all the cuddling. I doo love cuddling you. wish i could do it more often...

So many things to be done. DONT STRESS. I know you are slightly stressed, but all will be fine. IM SURE OF IT. COMPLETELY SURE.

I think we should make folders at the start of the year. BEFORE school. will be a fun task. Talk to you soon anyways. I LOOOVE YOU.

Love always, Tilly.

Dear Bunny,

Feels weird to start of this letter like this. It seems too much. I don't know. I hope we get over whats happening now. I just want it to end. I feel like im being put through a punishment.

I REALLY don't know what i did, maybe i pried too much to find out what i did wrong. You have to tell me. I just wanted to know so i could try to make you feel better, if thats something i can do.

It seems as if we have been arguing a lot lately, yet it also seems like we've been talking more, i don't know. I really don't.

Every time we get into a fight it seems i just go through all the nice texts and emails from you. That's what i have been doing. Looking at everything. Especially your most recent blog post. But, its not helping. I mean, the fact that your angry is upsetting. I didn't want to ask if you were, i don't know why i thought it would seem as if i was weak or something. But reading through your text was hard, especially after all the other uninterested texts you sent me.

We have such little time in our lives and i just don't want to fight with you, i dont know... I REALLY dont know what to say. ESPECIALLY cause i dont know what i did wrong.

I HOPE you love me, unless you've changed your mind. (I SOUND SO WEAK, hmm...)

Not going to edit cause its true. Okay ill talk to you soon hopefully. WILL DELETE THIS IF WE TALK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU READ THIS.

Love always, Tilly.

Fourth.

Dear Bunny,

I know i haven't been putting very much on this site...BEEN talking too much with you. Taking away everything i have to say.

But now i have something to say that I feel TOO WEIRD to say out loud or in a gmail chat, with you.

SO PART of me hopes you don't read this and have forgotten about the page AND MOST HOPEFULLY not receive emails when i post things.

I feel like you don't let me in...OR LET ME HELP YOU.

I mean you look so upset, so stress and SOOOO i dont know.

I just want you to try to let me help you.

And then when i was leaving earlier you tell me about how you've been feeling emotionless. AND THE ONLY feeling you have are when you're being irritated and etc... I can't remember.

Are you getting irritated at me? CAUSE i rather you be honest then lie to try to spare me from getting upset.

The fact you feel emotionless is enough to get me upset, i mean...CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG but i feel as if you USED to be happy with me and that you'd feel NICE emotions when we are together.

Dont know what else to say.... BUT

Love always, Tilly

P.S. I hope you're feeling better.

P.P.S Not sure if I'm being HYPER-SENSITIVE